if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
