Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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