What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
