She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
