That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Randomize
