I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
