He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize