so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
