i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
