They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
