At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
