I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
