when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
