oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
mondays should just be called national damage control day
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
