Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
there's paper in my vomit.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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