She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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