Where did you get a picture of my penis
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
