dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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