Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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