I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize