He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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