there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
