I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
