i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
