4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I just want nice things and good sex
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
