Your dad touched me again.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
