you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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