She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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