would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
