If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
