It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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