i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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