I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
