in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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