Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
It's never too late to be topless.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
