Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
two words: eviction party
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
