the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Randomize
