her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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