Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
