He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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