yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
