belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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