I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
