shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You should frame my arrest warrant.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
