And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Just cropdusted the office
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
