i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
