3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
