Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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