Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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