i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize