Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Come on in and take your pants off
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