census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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