Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
