Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
