Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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