Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
