When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
