hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
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