I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
