he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
