I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
