Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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