the new term for farting is butt boxing.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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