The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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