so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
