I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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