Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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